8.5 cm

When I was in labor at 8 centimeters dilated, the process got stuck. I stayed there for hours, at 8 centimeters, breathing and screaming and moaning through each contraction, desperate during the breaks between.

At 8.5 centimeters - with the gentle urging of my doctor, doula, and wife - I got an epidural and it was just the medicine I needed. I took a deep, long, sleep and woke up two hours later to push my beautiful daughter earthside.

A few weeks ago, my wife told me that while I was sleeping in the hospital bed, she looked over at me and saw me curled up, sucking my thumb.

Imagine that – a grown woman, about to give birth, sleeping like a baby and sucking her own thumb.

We are all mothers, daughters, and grandmas. We are all here and beyond. We are all life and the darkness of death. And everything in between.