i think people are afraid of women’s pain

Of women’s anger. Of women’s anguish.

Sometimes when I share that I work with survivors, I hear people suck in a breath.

They say, “Wow, that’s a lot to hold.” Or, “Do you worry about triggering something?”

Yes, it is a lot to hold, and I hold it gracefully. Yes, I do worry about triggering something, and I’m constantly monitoring myself and my students, creating a space to hold them over and over again.

The thing breath suckers don’t understand is that we, survivors, are constantly triggered. Whether it’s going to the doctor or watching Supreme Court hearings or listening to our coworkers chuckle about assault or [insert that other thing that just happened to you]. Being alive is a trigger.

I wish everyone would make a space for women’s anger. I wish everyone would not be so afraid of us going mad. Because we already are fucking mad. It has already happened and is currently happening. Get the fuck over it.